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Should my boyfriend and i break up before college

Like every other pair of year-olds in love, we felt invincible. And so, when I left to go to college in a city that was hours away, we decided to stay together. Nothing could squelch our teenage passion! Not even miles of flat, Texas highway, or the alluring hormones of College Boys! My boyfriend and I Skyped, texted, and did everything we thought might preserve our long-distance relationship.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Splitting Up for College after 4 Years of Dating

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Break Ups Before College

Should You Break Up Before Graduation? How To Know If Your Relationship Is Destined To Last

Leaving for college means lots of different things: feeling excited about the future! Feeling scared about the future! Figuring out what the heck to do about your significant other who will be attending a different college than you! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, as some old timey guy once said. In all of the blistering self-reflection that goes on in the months following graduation, it's easy to avoid looking at your romantic relationship with a similarly critical eye.

After all, everything else is so unstable — can't assessing your high school relationship go on the back burner for a while, until you pick your major or your classes or figure out just how to deal with your likely horrible freshman roommate?

Here's why it shouldn't: yes, the first few months after graduation often feel like living out that nightmare about showing up naked to take a test you didn't study for, day after day after day. But they're also a time to take the first steps and make the first changes that will allow you to have the kind of future you want. That is hard work. And trying to do that while stuck in a longterm security blanket relationship — a relationship that no longer works, but feels comforting and familiar — is actually harder than going it alone.

It's harder to make new friends, try new things, or even figure out the new things you'd like to try, when you're pouring most of your energy into a relationship that isn't providing you with happiness or fulfillment. Figuring out whether to leave your high school relationship can feel like trying to solve one of those exploding murder-puzzles from Saw. But it doesn't have to be that way. You, too, can learn if and how to end your high school relationship before leaving for college, with these simple steps.

What reasons do you have to stay together? What reasons do you have to break up? Though odds are that if you're pondering breaking up, your relationship has run its course, there are always exceptions — in the time right after graduation, it's easy to get jealous of friends who are traveling to strange, new places and seeing all manner of strange, new genitals, while you have to stay in your dorm, away from temptation, playing Settlers of Catan and skyping with your SO.

But, that envy for their seemingly appealing freedom is not reason enough. So really sit down, and make a list of all the reasons to stay or go. You'll most likely feel a pull either way; if you feel completely undecided, that's a sign that it's not time for you to initiate a break up yet, even if the relationship is troubled. Don't feel guilty about this —there's no shame in taking the time to really understand your feelings and not rush into mistakes. Even if you take a year to figure this out, don't worry; there will still be plenty of strangers left to have sex with in a year.

Also, if you stay together, make sure to go out some times. That much Settlers of Catan can truly drive a person to the mouth of madness. So you've made the decision to end things. Now, how the hell do you do it? There are some evergreen ways to not be a dick when you dump someone , but the months after high school can present, err, unique challenges.

Something as simple as the privacy needed to end a relationship can be hard to negotiate — chances are, you're still living at home, or one of you has already left for school and is dealing with that brand-new-roommate situation — neither scenario is conducive to breaking up with dignity or doing much of anything with dignity. So while the gold standard is always breaking up in person, at one of your homes, sometimes that's not an option.

How else handle it? If you absolutely can't pay off your roommates or beg your parents to take a hike for a little while, see if you can meet someplace neutral but not full of people, like an almost-empty park.

If you're long distance already, try to Skype or FaceTime at a time when you'll have some privacy; if you've been dating for more than a few weeks, don't do it by chat, text, or private message the electronic equivalent of dumping someone at Chili's. The feelings of terror, insecurity, and uncertainty that permeate many of the waking moments of post-grad life can make you an easy mark to be begged, bargained, or bullied into giving the relationship another shot.

Stick to your guns if this comes up. The world out there is scary, sure, but it's not going to be any less scary to negotiate while weighed down by someone you're no longer crazy about; in fact, the high-highs and low-lows of college life can turn a simply mediocre relationship that had run its course into a horror of a relationship that chokes the life out of you.

Taking on the world together as a couple in love rules, but sticking together out of fear and routine SUCKS. And it will just make you act shitty to each other, before leading to another break-up five years down the road, this one a thousand times worse because you have a lease and all this furniture and also you fucking hate each other now. So don't say yes to any pleas to give the relationship six more weeks, go on one last romantic date together, or finish first semester and THEN decide about the relationship.

Your friends are scattered all over the country now, and you don't talk to all of them regularly; how can you quickly communicate this update to your former status as a partnered individual to them? Whatever you do, do not break word to your friends via status update either changing your relationship status or actually posting about the break up.

Posts like that are a magnet for weird drama what do people mean when they like it? What's their end game here?!? Just hide your relationship status for the time being, tell your core circle and a few other chatty friends, and trust that they'll get the word out to everyone important. In the immediate aftermath of a post-grad break up, the temptation to make out with everyone else you ever wanted in high school, or every cute boy in your new dorm, can be overwhelming.

And easy — friends who actually always wanted to be more than friends may start coming out of the woodwork the moment word about your break up gets out. Please do not hook up with these people, or at least, not right away. There's a world full of people out there who were never in a homeroom or a choir or a weird conceptual art project about deforestation with your ex; go hook up with those people.

Because no matter how satisfying it feels in the moment, rebounding with someone you know from high school will create a lot of unnecessary drama, which is the last thing you need right now. If they're actual relationship material, they can wait a few months; if you're just looking to get your rocks off, get your rocks off on someone else's shoreline, sailor. Even with all this advice, there's still no such thing as an easy or painless break up motivated by life changes shouldn't Google be spending billions of dollars working on that instead of all this "Mars exploration" business?

But this break up will set a good precedent for pulling the plug on security-blanket relationships in times of transition or stress for the rest of your life. You'll learn from this, in a way that will improve your dating life forever.

How to break up before college

All of a sudden, because two people are moving a little ways apart, their feelings are dropped off the face of the earth just like that? I know long-term couples that have stayed together throughout college, as well as long-term couples that broke it off right before college. When comparing the two, even if college is supposed to be a whole new world with whole new people, the people that I know that stayed together do not regret it. For the most part, the people we date in high school are not the people we end up dating in college, let alone the people we spend the rest of our lives with. College is a place to have new experiences and try new things and feeling tethered to someone who is miles and miles away has the potential to greatly limit this amazing opportunity we all have to learn more about ourselves and who we really are.

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Finding one perfect partner after a bunch of false starts has been sold to us as the ultimate romantic narrative. But what if you fall in love at 16 and never break up? This is what she told me. We started dating when we were 16 and did all the high school things together, like prom.

Should You Break Up With Your High School SO Before College?

Marlene Kern Fischer. When your son or daughter leaves for college, they will bring along many things from home — including, possibly, a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend from high school. This can be a complicated and tricky subject to deal with and one which is sure to create angst and issues at some point along the way. For anyone who has a child is in this situation, even under the best of circumstances, there will be some rough times ahead. My middle son starting dating his high school girlfriend when they were seniors and I watched their relationship blossom over the course of the year. Before he left for college, I cautiously brought up the subject of whether they would continue to date, knowing well that I was about to enter shark-infested waters. On the contrary, his girlfriend was one of the nicest people I had ever met and I was proud that my son had chosen someone so wonderful.

How to Dump Someone Before Going Off to College...Without Acting Like a Jerk

That is the question. Should you break up and seek new experiences? Stay together and try to push through? Which is the right decision?

My boyfriend and I both really care about each other a lot

As summer vacation is about at a mid-point, I know that there are a lot of high school sweethearts who have graduated and wondered what the next chapter holds for them as they move on to college. Maybe the pair has committed to the same college because they both genuinely like the school, or solely because they want to stay together, or both. Then, there are couples who have decided to go to separate schools based on each of their needs. Or perhaps, you may be like me where one person is going off to college and the other one is still in high school.

Boyfriend wants to break up before college, and I am lost?

If you are a high school senior like me, then college is approaching, which means new experiences and ultimately new people. One of the biggest questions you probably have as a high school senior with a serious S. Sure, you might really love them

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Breaking Up Before Uni vs Going to Uni in a Relationship - Relationships at Uni - Beth and Jamarl

Leaving for college means lots of different things: feeling excited about the future! Feeling scared about the future! Figuring out what the heck to do about your significant other who will be attending a different college than you! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, as some old timey guy once said. In all of the blistering self-reflection that goes on in the months following graduation, it's easy to avoid looking at your romantic relationship with a similarly critical eye.

High school relationships in college

You've just spent four years in a purgatory — albeit a very fun one — between childhood and adulthood, between playing hard and working hard, and between thinking you know who you are and really finding out who you are. If you met a romantic partner during this lovely-but-strange-limbo known as college, you might be wondering if you should break up before graduation , or if that's all too strategic. As with all matters of heart versus brain: how in hot hell is one to figure out what to do? I imagine many of the stressors that come with deciding if the end of college should be the end of a relationship logistics. Where are both partners planning to be located post-grad?

Jul 28, - Leaving for college means lots of different things: feeling excited about the future! Realizing that you're now an adult who is (yay!) living without her that if you're pondering breaking up, your relationship has run its course.


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STAFF EDITORAL: Should couples break up before college?



Comments: 4
  1. Volmaran

    There can be you and are right.

  2. Zulkizahn

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  3. Nale

    I can not take part now in discussion - there is no free time. Very soon I will necessarily express the opinion.

  4. Gozil

    Ur!!!! We have won :)

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